Category Archives: Sleep

I’m So Tired

Warning – Whinny Post Alert!!!!

I’m so tired.  And I’m tired of saying, “I’m so tired”.  And my husband and friends are tired of hearing “I’m so tired”.  But I’m so tired.

I just can’t seem to recover.  I have been exhausted since my second trimester.  So basically, I have been exhausted for a year now.  No one tells you that.  And it’s not that I don’t ever sleep.  I sleep.  But not the same quality of sleep I had before.  I don’t think I’ve just woken up on my own since I gave birth.  There is always something or someone waking me up.  Admittedly that the “someone” is the most adorable human being ever – but nonetheless, waking up to his screams is quite a jarring experience.

The other day I was complaining explaining to someone that I feel like I work two full time jobs.  I work all day and then come home and try to be a good mom.  Then I physically drop at 9:30.  Most nights I don’t even have enough energy to read a couple of pages of a great book I’m trying to read.  This morning I noticed that my eyebrows are out of control.  I just haven’t had time to pluck.  My house is a mess and dirty.  I haven’t updated John Patrick’s album since he was three months old.  And I’m sure most of my friends think I’m a big selfish hermit because I never call anyone anymore.

Did I mention that I’m so tired?  Ok, and admittedly, feeling sorry for myself.  Believe me, I KNOW that I’m not the only working and tired mom out there.  But how do you all do it?  And am I ever going to feel rested again?  Sometimes I just daydream about checking into a fancy hotel, drawing the curtains shut, turning the air conditioner down really low, and sleeping for a good 14 hours.  In this dream, I wake up on my own because I have had enough sleep and it’s a slow process, not a jumping out of bed and running to get a bottle process.  But then I realize that even one night away from my pumpkin would make me miserable because I would miss him so much.  So I guess it just leaves me with…

I’m so tired.




Filed under Baby, Infant, Sleep, Work

Warning, Warning: The Diaper will Fail in 3, 2, 1…

wah, wah, wah…

As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I tried to figure out what was the best course of action. Was this an attention-seeking cry or a problem cry? I decided to give it a few minutes and see if Becca would settle back down again.

Wah, WAH, WWWW-AAA-HHH rattle-rattle

Clearly, she wasn’t settling down. When I walked into her room, I could see her sitting up in bed, crying and flapping her arms. When I reached down to pick her up, I could feel that the outside of her sleeper was wet and her mattress was wet. There was actually a puddle of urine in her crib. Ugh!!!!

It was 2 a.m. and I needed to be up by 6 so I needed to resolve this situation pretty quickly. As I changed her clothes, I questioned whether to change her sheet, tempted to just bring her into bed with us. I pondered my options as I balanced the diaper in my hand. It was diaper was filled to the brim with liquid and must have weighed a few pounds minimum. I didn’t dare to wrap it closed (like I normally would) for fear that urine would squirt in every direction like a burst water balloon. In the interest of keeping Becca in her own bed, I changed the crib sheet (a ton of fun at 2 a.m.), wrapped up all the bedding in a dry towel and rocked Becca for a few minutes before putting her back to bed.

As I rocked her, I drowsily tried to figure out what happened. In the effort to night wean Becca, I had given her quite a bit of juice/water right before bed. As I changed her into her pjs, I had questioned whether or not to change her diaper and opted not to change it (it didn’t feel wet). Now I wondered if maybe I should have changed it.

When Becca calmed settled down again, I carefully placed her back into her crib, covered her with a dry blanket and stumbled back to bed.

Mary Kate


Filed under Sleep, Toddler

Into the Crib – Night 4

Last night was so easy. It was a piece of cake. No sweat. No problema.

Ok, I admit it…. I wasn’t even home last night.

For my best friend’s birthday, we went to see “Big Head Todd and the Monsters”. (any fans out there?) Anyway, although bad timing in baby world, I have to admit that I really needed a night out and a little break. (Reason 3,468 why Jim rocks.)

Anyway, when I came home (at 1:00 am – I guess I thought I was a rock star), John Patrick was sound asleep in his crib. Jim’s face was calm and relaxed and I was instantly impressed. But poor Jim, he said that when he tried to put John Patrick down, he got hysterical. Jim did the soothing and constant reassuring (we agreed yesterday that we’re going to soothe and pick up as much as we want). Without giving me a ton of detail, he said it was “very hard”. But eventually, he did fall asleep (after feedings and cuddles).

And slept until 4:00 am, when he woke up for a quick meal and went right back to sleep – in the crib!

Then slept until 8:00 am!!!

So I think maybe we’re getting there. It seems that the first couple of hours are the hardest but then he settles in and is sleeping much longer intervals than he was in the co-sleeper.

And the best part is that when he finally really woke up this morning, I sang a little “good morning” song to him and he had the biggest smile for me. So you’re right, moms, I don’t think we’re causing permanent damage here. 🙂

Hopefully, it will only get easier. Otherwise, I may need to purchase more concert tickets… LOL



Filed under Baby, Sleep

Transitioning into the Crib (Update)

Oh God, do I need some moral support right now…….

Last night was night three and it’s just a nightmare. John Patrick cried straight for 45 minutes last night. Of course Jim and I took turns going in and rubbing his back, etc. but still HE CRIED FOR 45 MINUTES!!! And after eating he cried some more.
And I kept thinking, “he’s only 11 weeks”. Then of course I did a web search and all this information came up about not letting your baby cry it out because he may lose trust in you.

So here are my questions, moms…

1.) What does “cry it out” mean? We try to soothe him but we don’t pick him up. Does that count?

2.) Is 11 weeks to young to move him into his own crib? (Remember that he was 7 weeks premature too – although has caught up.)

3.) Is he going to never trust me because I’m making him cry it out? Am I doing permanent damage?

I almost gave in last night and moved him back into our bed. The only reason I didn’t is because I knew I’d have to start all over again and I can’t go through this again. It’s so hard!!!




Filed under Baby, Sleep

Transitioning into the Crib

As John Patrick turned 11 weeks old, my husband and I came to the realization that the co-sleeper really wasn’t working out for us. John Patrick would spend the majority of the night staring at me and making what can only be described as the most annoying sounds in the world, in order to be put in our bed. I admit, I often gave in quickly in hopes to get some sleep myself. We had no schedule and each night was, well, sort of a nightmare.

I knew the time would come and here it was….. the big transition to the crib and his own room.

First, I should preface this by saying that I spent last week putting John Patrick in his crib for afternoon naps in an effort to help him get used to a “new” space.

Here’s how our first night went:

7:00pm – For the first time we started a real bedtime routine:

  1. Bath
  2. Massage with lotion
  3. A little bit of “naked time”
  4. Fresh clean diaper and pajamas
  5. A last feeding
  6. Put him down while playing lullabies by Mozart CD

I also plan on adding a book to the routine. He actually went down pretty well with not much fussiness.

8:00pm – Awake and crying. This is one of the many times that my husband saves the day. Of course my natural reaction is to go in and pick him up. But Jim, my husband, kept telling me he’d take care of it, which meant he would go in and rub his back and soothe him back to sleep. I won’t lie, he had to do this about a dozen times. He cried pretty much till 8:30, when he decided that he was hungry again.

8:30pm – another feeding in his room with lights dim. He’s back in bed and asleep by 9:00

9:30pm – and back up and crying again. More gentle soothing by Jim

10:00pm – another feeding. Is he manipulating me or what?

10:30pm – 11:30pm – on and off crying. This was a dance between my son and my husband. Jim was so patient and lovingly willful that John Patrick was NOT getting into our bed. (spoiler – Jim won.)

11:30pm – another feeding, this time by formula given by dad. John Patrick is back in bed and asleep by 12.

2:30am – up for a feeding (which is his normal time). After eating and a diaper change, he easily falls back asleep in his crib.

4:15am – up for another feeding? I can’t tell if he’s really hungry or just wants me to hold him. I try to feed him. Because he was a preemie I think I’ll always have this huge fear of not feeding him when he’s hungry. Weight gain was our life for a long time. He just snacks (probably wasn’t even hungry) and is back asleep by 4:30.

5:30am – hungry again? Trick me once, shame on you….. Ah, who am I kidding? I was tricked again. Snacked for a few minutes and then back to sleep in the crib.

7:00am – up and very vocal and ready to really eat. At this point we’re up for the day. He eats and gets put into “day” clothes.

So here’s the lessons I learned in the first night:

  1. It can be done – you just have to make yourself do it.
  2. Husbands are the best and another reminder that I couldn’t do any of this without him.
  3. Just because he wakes up doesn’t mean he needs to be fed.
  4. He didn’t wake up this morning and hate me so that fear is conquered.

And honestly, I slept better (ok, yes, shorter intervals) but better than I’ve slept in a long time. It’s nice to have our bed back. Plus – this is New York!!! Do you know what we pay for his bedroom? You better believe he’s going to use it. 🙂

One day down…..



Filed under Baby, developmental milestones, Infant, Sleep

Inventions All Parents Need

Tonight I really could have used one or all of the following gadgets:

  • Parent Recharger– power cord that allows a parent to plug themselves in and recharge after a long day (or night).
  • Power Off Switch – switch on baby or child which shuts him/her down for the night (without any fussing).
  • Reset Button – the ability to power down and start over when the baby/child is having a meltdown.

I hadn’t seen Becca all day because I had left before she woke-up in the morning. So when I got home, she was extremely excited to see me. As the night wore on, she became more and more giddy (she has developed this hysterical belly laugh and she cracks herself up when she uses it) and just wouldn’t settle down. As soon as I walked into her room to put her to sleep, she would become very squirmy and try to wiggle out of my arms. At the same time, she was rubbing her eyes and yawning. It was clear that she was fighting sleep with everything she had. Since I had been up since 4:45 a.m., I was also fighting sleep which meant my patience resources were extremely limited. Just when I was hitting the end of my rope, I sat down in the glider with her, took about 12 cleansing breathes.  As I sat there, I found myself fantasizing about different inventions which would make my life a little easier.  Becca definitely needed some assistance ‘powering down’ and really could have benefited from a simple on/off switch.  Fortunately the rhythmic rocking did its own magic and Becca finally relaxed and drifted off to sleep.   I think her batteries must have finally worn down.

Mary Kate

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Filed under fun, Sleep, Toddler, Uncategorized

It worked! It worked! It worked!

Last night, I tried the slightly modified bedtime routine and it worked!!!! Instead of bringing Becca upstairs and hanging out with her in our room for a little while, I brought her right into her room and just started her bedtime routine. Instead of it taking 40 minutes to an hour, it took less than 20 minutes before she was snoozing away!!! Yeah!!!! I was so gleeful I almost jumped on here to report my progress but I didn’t want to jinx myself so I didn’t.

About 20 minutes later, she did wake up crying but I was able to quickly put her back down. Twenty minutes after that (about 10 p.m.), she woke up for a few minutes again but quickly went back to sleep. She then slept through until this morning. Even with the two wake-ups, it is definitely a step in the right direction!!!

Mary Kate

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Filed under Sleep, Toddler