Transitioning into the Crib (Update)

Oh God, do I need some moral support right now…….

Last night was night three and it’s just a nightmare. John Patrick cried straight for 45 minutes last night. Of course Jim and I took turns going in and rubbing his back, etc. but still HE CRIED FOR 45 MINUTES!!! And after eating he cried some more.
And I kept thinking, “he’s only 11 weeks”. Then of course I did a web search and all this information came up about not letting your baby cry it out because he may lose trust in you.

So here are my questions, moms…

1.) What does “cry it out” mean? We try to soothe him but we don’t pick him up. Does that count?

2.) Is 11 weeks to young to move him into his own crib? (Remember that he was 7 weeks premature too – although has caught up.)

3.) Is he going to never trust me because I’m making him cry it out? Am I doing permanent damage?

I almost gave in last night and moved him back into our bed. The only reason I didn’t is because I knew I’d have to start all over again and I can’t go through this again. It’s so hard!!!

HELPPPPP

Jen

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4 Comments

Filed under Baby, Sleep

4 responses to “Transitioning into the Crib (Update)

  1. Jerseygirl89

    I always took “cry it out” to mean leaving them alone completely, but I’m not an expert. I am, however, experienced, so here’s my 2 cents:

    1. One night when my daughter was nine weeks old and sleeping in the cradle in our room (I never shared a bed, so I wonder if the crib in your room might help?), she had this huge crying fit. NOTHING was working. For an hour I could not calm her down. I had a moment where I understood baby-shaking, so I went into her room and laid her in the crib (I didn’t feel comfortable letting her have the fit in the cradle she was rapidly growing out of). Then I walked downstairs and watched something dumb on TV. Thirty minutes later I went back upstairs, ready to comfort again. Except that she was asleep. After that we had no problems with her getting to sleep – she might cry, but always for less than five minutes.
    2. Naturally, my experience with my daughter led me to believe that I was a sleeping genius. So at 12 weeks, I put my son in his crib, prepared to let him cry it out for thirty minutes and then enjoy peace. Ha. My son cried and cried and cried. I gave in and fed him again. More crying. I nursed him again. Then he did sleep for a while. But every time I tried letting him cry it out, he would go on for so long (like hours) that I couldn’t do it. We did keep him in the crib, but it meant three or four trips to his room every night. When he was around 8 months old his pediatrician suggested that we keep a bottle of water in his crib and all of the sudden I got to sleep through the night again.

    So I guess I’m saying that it depends on the kid – maybe try leaving him alone for twenty or thirty minutes and see what happens. If he falls asleep, great. If not, just keep trying. Or move the crib into your room for a while. My two were used to sleeping in their own beds already. Maybe put the crib in your room, but don’t reach for him every time he makes a noise – wait and see if he’s really going to flip. As for trusting and all that, my kids are wonderfully affectionate little people who trust me to fix everything – bouts of infant crying have not affected them at all.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It makes me feel a lot better. When he was sleeping in our room – mostly he was sleeping in a co-sleeper which didn’t work out for us. If he could see us then he wanted us to put him in our bed. But I guess I’ll just try to keep at the crib and just succumb to the fact that I’ll spend my whole night walking in between rooms. Thank God NY apartments are so small. ha ha.

  3. I so believe in CIO no matter how you do it! Your baby and you will be happier when you get throught the toughest 3-7 nights of your life (or so the experts say.) Hang tough as team because its so much easier when you and dad are on the same page.

  4. mkate

    Jen-

    I am wondering how last night went. I hope you will post an update.

    1) Cry It Out (CIO) is associated with certain sleep techniques (Ferber, Weissbluth) which emphasis the need for babies/children to learn how to self-soothe. It is known as CIO because the parent will go through the sleep routine, place the baby in the crib (drowsy or asleep) and if the baby should cry, give them a certain amount of time (5, 10, 15 minutes before the parents go in to soothe them). Since you try to soothe him without picking him up that would place you in the CIO camp rather than the Attachment Parenting camp (AP) (Dr. Sears is the Attachment Parenting guru).

    There are many debates on which is better- CIO or AP and it can get pretty heated (especially on internet forum boards).

    2) As far as being too early, I think this is a fine time to place him in the crib. Becca slept in her crib the very first night she was home (for about 5 hours) so it can be done (she also spent time in our bed as well). I’m like you– I (and Becca) sleep better when she is in her own crib.

    3) Your John Patrick’s mama! Nothing is going to change that! It takes a lot for a child to lose trust in their parents (we’ve both seen that firsthand).

    So keep it up Jen and stay strong!!

    Mary Kate

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